Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sunday Visit

August 21, 2011-

I was supposed to attend Sam's (my high school friend) 18th birthday celebration. Her birthday's really August 18, but the celebration's last Sunday. However, something came up. My tito Boying (my granfather's junior in mama's side) has been confined in Antipolo Doctors Hospital and since my father wouldn't be able to accompany my mother to visit him, I did. I was actually glad that I've made this choice because I discovered that some drinking's involved in that party. Though I would love to celebrate with them and be there for my friend on her day, I know that it wouldn't be a good atmosphere.

I never felt that depressed whenever I'm at hospitals. In novels that I've read, they described such place as dreadful, with death lurking at every corner. The only unpleasant thing I've noticed about hospitals is their smell. It smells like rust and some chemicals. Moments ago, I would gladly agree to the dreadful feeling hospitals emit but then, my mind's other side argued that that's not all there is. Life is also celebrated in hospitals: birth, success in operations and surgeries, etc. 

Our visit went well. He's doing great physically though he still needs some tests. He couldn't recognize us though and he would only respond to my Aunt Lucy's (his wife) words. He likes to hold something in his hand for him to squeeze. Most of the time, it would be our hands. By the end of our visit, I was the one holding his hands and tending him while the adults are talking. I then realized that I've hadn't known most of my relatives by heart. I sat there, him squeezing my hands thinking that I've never known my own blood and roots. The least I could do is stay beside him and smile at him whenever he looks at me intently. The way he's squeezing my hand is really comforting: a soothing massage that he unconsciously did on my both hands. The situation would have looked funny on the surface but a hard cold fact is right in front of my eyes. I feel so sad about my uncle's situation as well as his family and knowing that we could not help them financially but through our sincerest prayers. Its depressing. It keeps my mom up all night, probably thinking over these things and among other problems too. My other relatives are hurting as well. My aunt is even willing to give him up now, if God willed it to be. I know that he share the same views as well. During our entire visit, all he says is: "Hallelujah! Praise you Lord Jesus!". I think this is some kind of plea but I think it means surrender to His will as well and an expression of gratitude. I know that if God willed it to be, we all have to accept it. But I still hope that soon, I would find myself celebrating life in the hospital.

Saturday, August 20, 2011


There past few weeks, I always find myself in front of the laptop, in the middle of the night, with the rest of my family asleep already. I've been sleeping at like 2AM in the morning since last Wednesday. Take for example at this moment, it's exactly 1AM and I much as I want to hit the bed soon, I can't. I know I'm having this bad sleeping habits which would make me wake up later at noon. I don't know why am I even writing about this, its just that I know I have to change this. All I did online if I weren't blogging or writing or doing something important was to read which is of course me passion but it's breaking loose. I can't control the time I spend reading online anymore. I make up lot's of excuses already. :(( And this day alone, I've been online for over 10 hours already. :(( I just realized that. Oh my. What. Is. Happening. To. Me.

I promise myself to do something really productive tomorrow. I have to put this in writing because I wouldn't be able to accomplish it if I don't. I need all the luck I could get. *sigh

PS. AHBL is 'All Hell Breaking Loose'. It's from a Sarah Dessen book that I've read months ago.

Amanda Grange's Mr. Darcy's Diary

Plot: Do I really have to tell you? Who haven't heard about one of the greatest literary works ever by Jane Austen? Oh well. This book is practically 'Pride and Prejudice' only with Mr. Darcy's POV. Its just about the unlikely romance between the wealthy and obviously a high-class Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet of a normal household and without connections which during the turn of 19th century (the story's setting) is really unacceptable. At Pride and Prejudice, it centers on what happen in Lizzy's life and how she began hating the man and soon realizing that her speculations are wrong and then falling in love with the man that surprises everyone because of much hatred she'd shown before. However, Grange's work focuses of Mr. Darcy, on how he struggle to get away with his feelings for the woman because of his obvious distaste for her family. But he need not feign any longer because love transcends such boundaries.

Review: Jane Austen had made every lady who've read PaP giddy just with her words and cutting out what most romance fiction have nowadays. In short, its pure classic. But Grange's work is amazing because it gives us what we all want. More romance. And I really enjoyed reading the book. I read books written in the same diary-type of way but this book is by far the best. It never strayed away from the original story and it gives us a glimpse of what's running inside our protagonist's head. Darcy is such a sweet man. At first, he cares too much about what would his reputation be if Mrs. Bennet became his mother-in-law and if he'd get to have Lizzy's younger sisters as sisters-in-law. He's full of himself and he thinks that his first proposal to Elizabeth would be accepted. I wouldn't blame Elizabeth of course with what she saw in the surface and what she heard in their first meeting but still, she'd judged. What's wrong with Darcy, on the other hand, is that he keeps on denying his feelings at first. But in the end, they got over their pride and prejudices and lived happily ever after. (forgive me, I'm overwhelmed.) Anyway, back to his diary, I find it amazing that the conversations are in tact even the long ones. That's one easy mistake to make but I wont take it against the author because she did really great. I liked how she pen the things running inside Darcy's head and how she added some fun and more romance in the end. I liked the way Elizabeth is being describe and how the author didn't change Austen's characters' nature. It'd be cool if she had added just a few bits in it in the end and make the span somehow closer to the ending in PaP. But altogether I enjoyed it. It made me really all kilig inside and I was up most of the night thinking of when My Mr. Darcy will come... ♥♥

Below are few of Darcy's thoughts. Read the book. Highly recommended for Austen's fans.

...I thought that, if there was one person in the room I should like to see dancing, it was she.
...if i wish to admire Miss Elizabeth Bennet, I shall do so, and not all Caroline's sallies on fine eyes ans mothers-in law will prevent me.
...Is she a sphinx sent to torment me? She must be, for my thoughts are not usually so poetic.

Another thing to share. I know it wouldn't surprise you to know that I've watch the PaP film with Keira Knightly for IDK-what times already (I even own an original VCD) but it was always the English version. I don't know there's an American one with a different and much better ending until recently. And kinilig talaga ako. :)) Watch it here and giggle all you want :))

NOTE: Please forgive me for grammar errors. There's alot I know. (even on my other posts) but i'm too tired and lazy to correct them. :))

Friday, August 19, 2011

C'est La Vie

My all new blog is here!

Just hours ago, this blog features a background of a book with a couple of its pages shaped a hearts. The page is too colorful for my taste (even though I find it really pretty at first) so I decided to change it. And ergo the new one! Hahaha. The background was from Blogger itself. I just randomly clicked an image and it worked. Amazing.

I also changed the blog title. Previously, it was "Its not Eu. Its Me." but its too personal so i changed it to a French phrase, "C'est La Vie" (Such is Life/That's Life). I was so Vanessa Carlton inspired today, so I named my blog from her song of the same title. I originally plan on making it "Nolita Fairytale" but that seems to suggest something and I've never been to Nolita anyway. The blog description was now "its all too sweet to last". Its a line from Carlton's White Houses. And I also changed the Url. It now reads Chez Eu instead of its previous Its Eu. The new url has some french tinge in it (just like the title). In english it means "Eu's".

First Impressions

FIRST IMPRESSIONS are always sweet to remember... but be sure to know the person better, so you can judge no longer!!

That was my status in Facebook 22 hours ago. I didn't expect my college friends and I to have this first-impressions talk this soon but I'm glad we did. We were in IC-BG yesterday waiting for our prof and other classmates when Ynigma suddenly had this talk of our first impressions of everyone. Most people do the same thing of course. Every first day of classes, we always have first impression of everyone and soon right after we'd known each other better, we'll tell each other about these previous impressions and we're sure to laugh about it. And we did. Most of our impressions does not really match our real personalities aside from the few correct ones. The downside was, their first impression about me. It didn't actually come as a real shock to me because that had been what others thought of me at first since high school: that i'm MATARAY. Well, I actually can't blame them because I sometimes don't feel like being friendly. And I have these really annoying eyebrows that look like they're always raised (like what mean girls do) which adds to their speculations. But, I swear! Once people get to know me better, they'll eat their first impressions just like what Ynigma did. But at times they still argue that I really am a snob. Hahahaha. :))

It's so sweet to laugh about these things with friends and oftentimes we realize that there's more to a person that what we see on the surface. I feel like I've known these people forever and I certainly hope I will. :))

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Swear

What one might thought of a blissful life,
Could be something that shouldn’t be treated light.
One could get over the sense of rue,
If she tried to seek what’s new.
Would you still consider living a life,
Where everyone tells you what’s right.
Depending on others to decide for you,
And secretly wanting to be someone else too.
Would you let a person into your life,
Who swears to love you with all his might.
A man so true to you, would you sue?
Or choose to live a life untrue?

A few minutes ago, I decided to change my story description of 'I Swear' at Miss Lits (see link on the side bar) and I still don't know how the story will grow and eventually end so I decided to make a poem instead. My thoughts are in circles right now... i hope this story will be great. :) Good evening to all.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Shakespeare On The "O"

Shakespeare on the “O”

I. Conflict
Hugo Goulding was always overshadowed by his teammate Odin James, more commonly known as “O”, the only African-American in their school. O was always the hero of their basketball games. He is also very much loved by many particularly their coach, Duke Goulding , who happens to be Hugo’s father. He is also the boyfriend of the school’s most popular girl, Desi Brable, the Dean’s daughter. These things about O led Hugo to seek for O’s destruction and take away everything from him even if it means sacrificing other people’s lives.

II. Symbolisms/Metaphors
1. SCARF – symbolizes treachery at the time that Emily stole it for Hugo to use it against O. It also symbolizes jealousy when Bianca learned that’s its from Desi and when O thought Desi gave to Michael.
2. GUN – it symbolizes being self-centered. The characters used it for their own gain, excluding Odin who used it because of too much hatred for himself for what he had done.
3. BASKETBALL – it is life’s game. We sometimes lose, sometimes we win.
4. O – the movie title itself. It does not only pertain to Odin but a circle that has no end. Everything in our lives comes in full circle: joy, sorrow, peace, betrayal, trust, and so forth.
5. DEATH – the death of many characters in the movie led to what Hugo most desires, attention. But not in the way he would have wanted it to be. It also symbolizes a new beginning for him to feel some remorse for what he had done.

III. How were the characters played up?
The characters in the story were played up by their desires to have or be able to do something that lead them to a tragic fate.
  • Hugo – his desire to be loved and have everything O did have that he did plot against him.
  • Odin – his desire to be Desi’s only true love that he went back doing his old thing
  • Roger – his his desire to be  Desi’s that he did what Hugo asked him to do
  • Coach Duke – his desire of training someone like O that he took less notice of his son
  • Michael – his desire to return to the team that he took Hugo’s advice
  • Desi – her desire to help Michael with his dilemma
  • Emily – her desire to impress her boyfriend by betraying her best friend

IV. Theme
The theme is mainly about desire: Hugo’s desire to destroy Odin; Odin desire not to be cheated; Michael’s desire to go back to the team; Roger’s desire for Desi; Emily’s desire for Hugo and so forth. These desires to obtain something made them look on things blindly. They begin hating each other, believing pretenses, suspecting and plotting against each other and killing.

Note: This was my paper back in Junior Year. We were studying Shakespeare and our group was assigned to watch the film "O" starring Josh Harnett. The film was based on Shakespeare's Othello. I haven't read that particular play nor have I watched the whole film. Hahahaha. There's a little bit of cheating done here because our group just discussed the plot for we don't have time to watch the whole film. We only watched bits of it. Besides, I made sure that my work would be authentic. I remember my teacher asking if internet's involved in this paper. Yes, it is- in parts about the story but the theme, the symbolisms and other opinions are really from my own shell! haha. I'm actually glad that I came up with the idea of "O" as a symbolism. My inspiration for that was Miley Cyrus' Full Circle song. Hahaha. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

My Heart Is Not Here At All

My Heart Is Not Here At All
Solitude is defined as the state of being solitary or being alone. Loneliness, isolation and seclusion always come with this term.  It is very funny how a person whose got company all the time craves for solitude and solitary people wants to have some company. Many people had known solitude as lack of contact with people only, but there’s really more to it than that. People that usually look for solitude do it for them to meditate, to find peace and to be detached from every day’s tensions. But sometimes, even if we’re not looking for it, solitude finds us.
            In an Irish ballad, Slievenamon (Woman of the Mountain), it says, “Alone, all alone by the wave washed strand, all alone in a crowded hall. The hall it is gay, and the waves they are grand, but my heart is not here at all.” Although our surroundings is gay and we’re surrounded by a lot of people we often find ourselves alone, though we may not be standing on a mountain as the song implies. There are al lot of us who feel this way. Charly Chaplain, a devoted comedian had given one of saddest quotes ever: “I always like walking in the rain, so no one would see me crying.” I think though he’s a very much successful comedian, always around with people and making them happy he’s got his own problems and always able to pour out his feelings when he’s alone, in the rain.
            Those people who crave for company are those who are lonely. They always find themselves alone or out of place. I believed it is our sole responsibility to make them feel welcomed and belong. People might sometimes want to be solitary but not for a long time. As the saying goes: no man is an island. We need people to take care of us and love us.
As for me, I never did feel solitary without wanting it. I am always surrounded by people I loved and people I enjoyed being with. It’s always been like that for me. However, there are times when I want solitude just to burst out my feelings and find peace; to reflect on my life if I’m doing well and to ask for guidance to the Lord. Life is a big waste if it would be spent all by yourself.
 NOTE: My essay during Junior year, its obviously about 'Solitude'. This is in accordance to our lesson on Alexander Pope's 'Ode on Solitude' (see below). I've read the thing about the Slievenamon in a book by Nora Roberts. I'm among the top scorers in this one, and my teacher asked me to read it in class which is rare :)) 

But to sum up this essay with my life right now: "We occasionally find solitary moments in our lives and some moments too crowded for our taste, but the trick is to enjoy. Savor the moment alone, read a book with no disturbances, eat like a pig 'cause no one's watching and do everything you want (as long as its legal. hahaha). However, in moments when you are with people, enjoy talking to them, make connections and reconnect with old friends. Never lose a connection with someone.... Life should not be lived alone."

So, I don't know what made me say those words, haha. But they're there, just flowing from my mind to my fingers and down to the screen. Amazing, eh?

Anyway, Ode on Solitude's below. :))

Happy the man, whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound,
Content to breathe his native air,
In his own ground.

Whose heards with milk, whose fields with bread,
Whose flocks supply him with attire,
Whose trees in summer yield him shade,
In winter fire.

Blest! who can unconcern'dly find
Hours, days, and years slide soft away,
In health of body, peace of mind,
Quiet by day,

Sound sleep by night; study and ease
Together mix'd; sweet recreation,
And innocence, which most does please,
With meditation.

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me dye;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lye

Beyond The Clouds

Beyond The Clouds
By Eunice L. Saldivar, II- Euclid

Have you ever been in an airplane ride? If ever you had, you will notice that airplanes fly above the clouds. This is very necessary for us to have a smooth ride. Nevertheless, to reach beyond these clouds, it takes the airplane great force to pass thru the turbulence and to go against the gravity. Soon as the plane had passed thru these, you will experience the ideal airplane ride.

It is very funny how this principle could be applied in our lives. You will see that life provide us with great challenges of our time that we have to deal with in order to reach beyond the clouds. We have to fight all of these and help each other’s on theirs as well. Mostly, these problems come within our adolescence because our choices in this stage have a great effect on our future. We will never know.

We are now in the 20th century. There are too many influences in our lives. Too many changes had happened too, in our culture, in our attitudes, in things we give importance to and mostly to the way, we see life.

That is the problem with our youth at the present time. The way they see life is really has a great difference from the youth before. Today, our youth faces many challenges that really test their strength. Too many influences also has a great effect on  them.

Nowadays, whenever you were not equipped with these latest gadgets, you will get out of place. Well, probably you have already heard about these latest gadgets that our youth are longing to have. PSP’s, cellphones, IPods, mp3players, laptops; those are they. Wherever you look, you will see many people handling those: mostly youth. 

One more thing is that youth idolizes many celebrities in our time and even imitate the way they dress. You will see an entire lot of them. Whenever you asked them about this star, they will answer you with the whole lot of their knowledge. They also know all of these latest songs. They can surely recite the exact lyrics of these. Yet, when it comes to education and literacy, they will just stare at you uninterestedly.

Well, don’t you mess up with these youth too! Because if ever you will, not that you will be in trouble but you will be smeared with many harmful words that you will wish had never existed. I cannot really imagine where they had learned these but this problem is keeping on growing. Even children of very early age are very much included in these.

There also come the youth’s problems with their family. Many youth value their friends more than their family. We are also very much aware of the youth who ran away from their homes not even acknowledging the entire thing their family had done for them. Here now comes the rules of the so-called EMO. It is short-termed for emotional. It is very popular in our youth who got problems in their families.

These problems may be very alarming. But are you now ready for the worst?  There is no such thing as the worstest for early matrimony among the youth. It comes thru early relationships itself. This is very common nowadays. Still, even though man are in this case, you still cannot say that it is right.

I never did understand why these things happen. I never did figure out why the youth is very much involved with this. What is there to gain? Why would anyone want something like this?

These may to be a lot to take in but it is for real. Let us not be blinded by things in our environment. Do you still remember what did our national hero once said? ‘The youth is the hope for our nation’. This is true. The youth, we, are the key. We should not be deceived by these modern inventions, we should always live our lives by the who we really are, we should love our family and take good care of them, and lastly, we should give importance to thing we have and not to take it for granted.

There seems to be a lot of thing for us to pass before we get beyond the clouds. One thing is certain, once you are already there it is all worth it.

NOTE: My speech during Sophomore year. The topic was about Youth Degeneration. The idea about the turbulence was from an article in the Liahona, i forgot which issue it is. It was chosen to be the piece to be use by my classmate who's gonna represent our class in a competition. Reading it once again, I have lots of things I want to change about this speech. Anyway, I wouldn't want to tamper with it. When I delivered it in class I got a grade of 96, the second to the highest (because the highest was the one who participated in the competition). And the piece was also awarded 3rd place during the competition. I know by the greatest standards this is weak... But hey, I was 13 that time. :)) Hahaha.


Last week, I've been using our old computer because my sister is so busy with the laptop. We weren't able to use it for a long time because the monitor is kinda malfunctioning and it's mouse is broken. But that time, I really have no choice but to use it, even without a mouse. It feels so weird using Windows XP once again after a long time, but the great thing about using the old computer was that I found most of my old papers from from High School especially during my junior year where I made lot's of essays about different classical works. I've decided to share them here because it simply brings me joy to have them again and to be preserved here forever. (Hahaha. Biglang nagdrama.) Anyway, my next posts would be them with a few notes from me. Too bad I don't have the hard copies anymore (my teachers have them) because they contain the true story. :)) The scores are also there too. And I could tell, they're good. Hahaha. I have a few regrets though of not saving my other essays, especially my arguments about the Divorce in my senior year for a debate. I remembered getting an applause from everybody after delivering it. I wish I still have it.. Anyway, ergo :))

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Life as we know it...
It scares me to death...
I have every reason...
Why hadn't you tried harder?
...coming undone
at war at myself
Feel the Love.
Do you really know me?
the distance's growing
i love your smile
have to stop pretending
no one wants me
Don't Sleep!
Blue. White. Yellow Pad
Life is a journey.
Tried to run.
I love you.
Talk to me.