Wow! A late night post! I just miss doing this.
So you see, I had some few realizations this day.
Yesterday, a friend of mine dared me to act like one of our friends. You see, I'm loud and spontaneous. Perhaps they can't keep up with the energy I have almost everyday or maybe it's for entirely different reasons that I do not know of. But I accepted the challenge. When I wasn't doing it yet, it seemed so fun, and I feel like that's is so gonna be the new me.
I really tried mind you. But I know I'm doing a very bad job. I started being so quiet which is definitely not being like the other but also absolutely isn't me. So yeah, my voice sort of became throaty when I speak because of the lack of use of my vocal chords for six hours straight.
Realization #1: I can never be anybody else but me.
And that realization was even held truer by the events that led to my second realization. So after my math class, I'm supposed to meet my BFF but she cancelled it (I guess my previous cancellations on her had backfired on me). I'm on my way home then when I met two of my other friends from high school. One of them is having his break while the other one is about to go home as well.
During those times, I was able to be myself. I actually realized this when I was on the jeepney going home. I laughed so loud with them, annoy them with my silly stories and gestures, fight with them, debate and just play along being me. Maybe, it was a let out for all my holding backs that time. (Does the last sentence even make sense!?) And it just made me so happy because I just automatically turn into the real me when I'm with them when I had summoned all my determination that day to be different. **Cue music: Taylor Swift's I'm Only Me When I'm With You. Which leads me to:
Realization #2: I completely and truly miss everything high school.
So just as these friends of mine and I were talking, we felt so nostalgic about all our high school memories and I've found its really fun looking for hidden and locked doors on your mind for thoughts to trigger those wonderful treasured memories from years back. It still makes me sad and miss everything so much.
So, because of that lingering feeling that I have, I brought out my notebook from high school where tons of my friends and teachers wrote messages for me. And reading everything they've written, I felt sad that some of the things mentioned were already forgotten. However, reading most of what they've wrote led me to:
Realization #3: I've influenced so many people in reading books (particularly Harry Potter) that I thought.
It was all there printed by whatever ballpen they've chose. Most of them thanked me for influencing them to reading and for introducing the magical world of Harry Potter in their then boring lives. While reading, I also saw those words that just make me goes "Awwww" because they're that touching. A
nd the last realization of the day was from my English teacher during senior year. It was on the same notebook that I was typing about.
Realization #4: I'm loved.
English teacher said, "Always remember these three magical words..."